Poop! Secrets! Drugs! Revenge! Death! This is a hodgepodge of recent topics here with The Ballard Five.
POOP & SECRETS
Sophie got a notebook in one of her Easter baskets that had Elsa on the front and blank pages inside.
Sophie: I’m going to write my letters in this book, Mama.
Me: That’s a good idea! You could draw pictures in it too.
Sophie: I’m going to write secrets in it. It can be my diarrhea!
Me: Your DIARY, you mean.
Sophie: No, my diarrhea. It’s what you write you secrets in.
DRUGS
One night we were having some potato soup for dinner and were all out of crackers. Sophie wanted to run to the store with me. On the way there, she shouted out “Yay! We’re going on a CRACK run!”
DEATH & REVENGE
Lilly has been on a kick lately talking about death, and heaven. She told us shortly after Easter that when she goes to Heaven, she is going to find those people who killed Jesus, and she’s going to punch them in the face. I told her that would probably get her kicked out of Heaven because they’re more about forgiveness and less about revenge. She also informed me that when she gets to heaven the first thing she’s going to do is make a storm. She’s going to send it to me, and make it rain on me.
DEATH…AGAIN
We were driving around last week just to get out of the house. The girls were content in the back of the car drinking some milkshakes and listening to their KidzBop, when out of the blue…
Lilly: Daddy!
Walter: Yes?
Lilly: When I die, you better buy me a GOOD grave!
Walter: Um, ok? What?
Lilly: A shiny one. I want a really shiny one.
Walter: Whatever you want, sweetie.
POOP (AND PEPPER REVENGE)
Eating breakfast for dinner one night. (NO peppers on the menu)
Lilly: I’m NEVER EVER eating peppers AGAIN!
Me: Whys’ that? I thought you liked peppers?
Lilly: Because them burn my mouth! (pause) And my butt.
Milkshakes!!!
The Ballard Five 
Lmao! Never a dull moment with that bunch! 😍
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Crack run ROFL!
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