Dear Patient,
First I would like to apologize for the way I reacted to your question the other day. I could tell by your reaction to MY reaction that I caught you off-guard. To be perfectly honest, I surprised myself. But more so, I want you to know something important so that maybe you (maybe others) won’t make the same mistake again, and that hopefully this will prevent future awkward moments like the one we shared.
Doctors are people, too. We are human. I have been since I was born…since before I was your doctor. And since I am human, I have feelings that can be hurt. I have children that I worry about. I have a husband that I argue with sometimes. I have family members who get sick or hospitalized that are on my mind. I have loved ones who have passed away that I miss. I have bills to pay. I have a car that sometimes doesn’t start on the first try. I have sleepless nights. I work long hours (at the office and at home) and I have insecurities about myself.
Let me paint a picture for you about that particular day you came to see me. I have three daughters, the youngest being 9 months old. She was born with spina bifida and my life has been a whirl-wind of appointments, therapies, and worries since the day she entered this world. I have been doing my best to lose my “baby weight” since she was born and while I am no where near where I want to be, I have made some decent progress. I have been watching what I eat and I’ve been walking 6 miles on a treadmill every night after my girls go to bed. That means I walk until midnight most nights.
On this particular day, I woke up, took a shower, and hopped on the scale to see if I had made any more progress. To my delight, I had dropped another pound and so I was feeling pretty good about myself. I chose a dress out of my closet that I haven’t worn in a while because I thought it looked good on me that day. My oldest daughter commented on my dress when I left the house and said, “Mama, you look pretty.”
I came to work and had a full day of patients to see and at the end of the day, you came in because you were having a problem. My office staff managed to squeeze you in to our already busy schedule. Then I called you back and the first thing you said to me was, “Oh! You’re expecting again!” Have you ever had someone mistakenly think you were pregnant when you were not? It is one of the worst feelings ever. It is, frankly, a rude question that NO ONE should ever ask another person. Because let me assure you, that IF you are wrong, you have just ruined that person’s day. After I replied, “no” you went on to reach out and pat my un-pregnant belly and say, “Well sure you are!” Ma’am, you do not have the right to reach out and touch me. It doesn’t matter if I am pregnant or not, you DO. NOT. HAVE. THAT. RIGHT. It was in that moment that I pointed out to you that you were crossing a line. Did you stop? I’m afraid not. You went one step further by saying, “Well you have recently had one, haven’t you?” I was at a loss for words. Seriously, you just kept making an awkward, painful and embarrassing situation even worse. None of these questions were appropriate. None were any of your business. And none had anything to do with why you were there to see me in the first place.
I am certain, that by my reaction, you are aware that you were a real ass hat, and I hope that you never make that same mistake again. Keep your comments about my weight to yourself, and even more so, keep your hands to yourself. I, like you, am a person. And I, like you, make mistakes. Just please, for everyone’s sake…don’t make that mistake again.
Sincerely,
Your (human) optometrist
The Ballard Five 
Omg! I think you look awesome, and I know for sure that you’ve been working super hard! That’s why I can never beat you in a fit bit challenge!! Whoever that was sounds like a real jackass. It’s a shame you couldn’t reach out and touch her/his head and say, Oh, I think you’ve lost some brain cells. When they said no, you could ha v e responded, sure you have b/ c you sound like a real idiot!
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Oh my gosh! What is the world is wrong with people….you look FANTASTIC and I am not sure why you didn’t smack her once she continuously kept pushing…you sound like you did the absolute professional thing and kept your cool because I would have probably been crying. Keep your head up and forget her unless she touches you again then you need to smack a b….!
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People don’t think anymore. They don’t think about the fact that what they say may hurt deeply. They don’t know our personal struggles. There’s the person people see on the outside and then there’s the person on the inside. You are one of the most beautiful people I know. I’d like to give her an earful of all the people you’ve helped just in your profession. The times you’ve gone WAY above and beyond the “standard of care”. You look great…a mother’s glow. Fact is, you can, and are losing weight. You’re changing what you can. But, alas, you can’t change stupid… Kudos to you for not poking her eye out when you got her in the chair!
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